Parenthetical Expressions and Things that Make You Go Hmm

The guy in my office who seems too young to wear Hawaiian shirts every Friday and who says, "Have a good evening" to no one in particular every day at 1:57 pm is cooking his lunch. At 10:37 am. He has been here since 5:00. WHY??

I, on the other hand, couldn't bring myself to get in much before the crack of 10. And even at that, no one has noticed, no one has called, no one is looking for me. Excuse me-- what's my motivation? Really, I don’t even know this girl who dresses up for herself to play solitaire and read all day. (Well, okay, I know the girl who dresses up for herself. But the solitaire thing is definitely new.) Waiting to hear back from prospective new opportunities has become my hobby. And quite frankly, I had previously been under the impression that I was fabulous enough not to have to wait this long. Never fear, that theory has since been debunked.

So, while the last shreds of my integrity and pride feel like they are withering away at the office, I think about all of the things I could be doing with this time. For example, packing. This weekend I am supposed to move to a very small apartment, and I have neither packed nor downsized sufficiently for this endeavor. Evidently, that’s what Tuesday and Thursday are for. Might have to do this thing in stages. (Incidentally, if any of the crickets would like to assist on Saturday, I know The Boy and I would be much obliged. Well, mainly The Boy would be much obliged. Let’s be honest, if we have everyone operating under their gifts and callings, I’ll probably be supervising, making tea and prematurely hanging pictures.)

The big triumph of the week is that I finally hit this weekend! Granted, I waited until the final game of the season to find my “power,” but isn’t that what some would call “clutch?” Unfortunately, my fake success in softball has inspired my mom to introduce and refer to me as Rally Monkey. Which isn’t really the most appropriate or flattering nickname. Especially considering the “hit” was due in very large part to a poor play by the third baseman. Ahh, technicalities.

I leave you with one last random thought. This weekend I watched The Jacket. I don't necessarily recommend it, but one line still has me laughing: "The four horsemen of the apocalypse are coming today, and they're not bringing flowers, and so it's really hard to get organized." Makes me laugh just thinking about it. Much like this line from the now-irrelevant Late, Late Show host, Craig Kilborn: "The preceding segment was brought to you by the Forest for the Trees-- Come see us." And, I don't care who you are, if you don't find that funny, I suggest this be your last visit.